After a long 14 hour flight from San Francisco to Guangzhou, China I'm finally on my flight to Bangkok, which is only 2 and a half hours and seems minuscule in comparison to the flight I just did. When my mom dropped me off at the airport Sunday night I had a weird wave of emotions and I thought to myself, "Can I really do this? What am I getting myself into?" I had finally left the comfort and security of home and now I'm on my own, and it really scared me. The whole build up to this trip it was hard for me to even believe that it was real since it's been one of my dreams to go to this part of the world for so long, and now it's a reality. It finally hit me when I was carrying my two backpacks as I walk up to the China Southern Airlines check in. A wave of fear and anxiety. I was about to just get on a flight to Guangzhou, China and then to Bangkok, Thailand where I have no real itinerary, no friends, and no expectations. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I honestly almost started hyperventilating and contemplated turning back, but I knew that I wouldn't have worked so hard to make this trip happen in the first place just to give up and go back to my bubble and security.
Despite my concerns I made my way through security, which was extremely quick and easy and then sat at my gate as I waited to commence a crazy journey into a world completely foreign to me. That is another reason why I was so anxious, because it's not like I was going on a trip to Europe or any place of a level of familiarity. No, I'm going all out. To a place where I can't even pretend to fit in, because I'm at least one foot taller than everyone around me and have striking blonde hair a blue eyes. To a place where there's no chance for me to even remotely understand or interpret the language. But most importantly, to a place that will force me to go out of my comfort zone until the day I return home because it's a solo trip and I have nobody to back me up or lean on in case something happens. If I had one travel buddy I would definitely be relieved of a lot of stress, but that 14 hour flight definitely gave me some time to decompress and think about why I choose to do these ridiculous things in the first place.
At the end of the day it is up to you and only you to determine the experiences you create on a day to day basis. Whether it be a backpacking trip to Southeast Asia or a conference meeting, your choices determine the level of positivity in the overall outcome. Although having someone to share the experience with would be nice I'm going to share the experience with all the amazing people I meet throughout my entire journey, because I've noticed that when I travel with other people I tend to restrict myself to being with them. When you're solo, you have nothing to hold you back so if you want to become a social butterfly and befriend everyone at the local bar or get a nice book and read along the river it's your choice, because when it all boils down to it's your trip in the first place.
At this point in time I have about 2 more hours left until I touch down in Bangkok and I'm feeling a lot more confident and ready to take on this adventure head on! I only have about three days in Bangkok and then I'm planning to go to Koh Tao and then Koh Phagnan, however, if I meet some awesome people who would want to go somewhere else that is on my general route I might change these plans. The lack of plans and not really knowing what I'm doing makes me nervous, but it's also what makes for the adventure! I'm really embracing the "go with the flow" attitude and I'm down for whatever this trip throws at me... within reason of course (don't worry mom I won't go to North Korea). With that being said, let's wake up and smell the noodles!
