Another Year Around the Sun

I took a moment to realize that it’s almost been a FULL YEAR since I’ve done my last blog post and that’s UNACCEPTABLE. Of course, lots and lots of things have changed so I’m just going to let my mind wander and try to re-collect all the memories I have between now and then. 

About a week ago I came back from my trip to Hawaii which was the first real vacation since COVID began and it was so special for me. I think COVID has impacted everyone is many different ways and I feel like I can speak for many in that I’m SO HAPPY things are getting back to normal and travel is becoming more accessible. We aren’t 100% there but damn we are close and I can’t wait until I can travel more extensively. 

I’m punching myself for not writing more during the past year because even though the world was pretty much shut down a lot of things happened. I had to take a quick look at my most recent post and that was when my mom’s side of the family moved to SoCal, which by the way, has been awesome! When I go home I get to hang by the pool, go to the beach, watch those amazing California sunsets and oh of course spend time with the family ;). It really just felt like the next step in the process and that’s the mindset I’m hoping to take in as we approach the end of COVID. It’s time to move forward, learn from the past, and crush your goals. 

The COVID slump is over and I was definitely in a slump which is a reason why I believe I didn’t set time aside to blog. Discussions about mental health and overall well-being have become more forth front as they should. As a highly extroverted person I definitely had my moments of anxiety and feeling depressed just like many others out there. Travel was and is my medicine. I’m fortunate enough to have still traveled differently than I previously have throughout 2020 whether it be spending the time with my family, taking a weekend trip to the mountains, or the amazing road trip around Utah & Colorado I did last September.  Again I speak for most in that I think we all made the best of what we had. I think we should all be SO SO SO SO proud of how far we have come in a year of obstacles to humanity. Everyone who has lived through COVID will NEVER forget it and they shouldn’t. I’ve learned a lot about how I function as a human and how the world functions (for better or worse). I could also go on and on about how much of a year 2020 was, but it’s time to move it right along and not forget what we’ve learned. 

When I did get back to Colorado after spending a couple of months with my family it was first of all very nice to be back in my own space (love you fam) and to be able to see some of my friends because of the loosened restrictions. Here are a couple of things I did over the summer/fall when I moved back to Colorado :

Hiked my first 14er

Spent my 25th birthday turtle tubing in the mountains with some amazing pals

Actually went back to visit the fam in SoCal because I love the beach

Did some camping and by camping I mean drinking lots of crappy beer in the woods

Said BYE BITCH to the Marquis and helloooo hunny to the Theo

Had some fun park days drinking wine and eating cheese (as per usual)

BOUGHT MY OWN CAR!

Took my car on a super rad road trip throughout Utah and Colorado

Enjoyed some beautiful summer patio dinners 

Took a solo trip to Aspen to hike the Maroon Bells

Did some outdoor activities including yoga and falling while trying to do yoga

Meaghan and I welcomed our third roommate, Christine!!! 

WINEFESSTTTTTTT!!!!

Got some awesome snowboarding days in! 

MEAGHAN CAME TO VISIT MY FAMILY IN CALIFORNIA! 

And most recently my AMAZING trip to Hawaii!!! 

Of course last but very much not least I met my amazing boyfriend Jace! Who I also went to Kansas City with in the -10 degree weather (:

Wow, after taking some time to reflect on what’s happened (even just SKIMMING through this past year) has made me even happier and confident that life keeps going and it gets better if you allow it. I think these next few months will be huge especially since most of the world is opening up and I’m excited to see what’s next. We survived the worst, persevered through a modern depression, and now we’re healing the scars so we can be newer and better versions of ourselves. There’s so much to learn about what COVID has taught us but in my eyes the most important thing to understand is how adaptable, innovative, and charismatic the human race is. COVID didn’t care if you were white, black, gay, straight, rich, poor, or WHATEVER and I’m not saying we didn’t have road bumps but damn I think we all deserve some credit. Whether you were a front-line worker, a scientist working on the vaccine, or just an average Joe like myself it took some level of determination to preserve through this.

Sometimes I take a moment to look back on my memories from a year ago (but actually Snapchat or Facebook really reminds me) and I take myself back to that moment and I remember thinking life will never be the same. This is true, but if it wasn’t COVID something was going to trigger things to change. That’s how the world works. We go through something and we adapts. With all this being said, life can change in an instant so let’s make the best of what we have in that moment. 

I wanted to share a song that really resonates with me. It’s called - Marea (We’ve lost dancing) by Fred again.. and this song really hits me hard because I love going to concerts. We really did lose dancing and human touch and it reminds me of how much we NEED this. Side note, STOKED that red rocks will be at full capacity in like a month. Bring on the rocks!

I also wanted to share this song by Poolside called Around the Sun. This was my inspiration for the title of this post because it’s just another year around the sun, right?

A New Chapter

I’ve always been used to life throwing curve balls my way and embracing them as a new challenge. With that being said I never thought we’d be dealing with a worldwide pandemic that would change life as we know it. In the span of just a few months our entire way of life has completely changed. With all the negativity this pandemic has brought I’m trying to view this challenge as a way to bring in aspects of positivity. This really has been the forced reset we’ve all needed. It’s forced us to take a moment to SLOW DOWN and REFLECT on ourselves so we can focus on what and who matters the most to us. I’m guilty as charged in that I always need to have a plan and I love to have a full calendar so I have my structure. 

But what do you do when you can’t structure anything because there is so much uncertainty in the world? You adjust. This adjustment also comes with the perfect and honestly once in a lifetime opportunity to find your new normal. Who are YOU in this new normal? I think I can speak for most of us in that we’ve had a lot time to think about ourselves and I think a lot of people are going to come out of this completely changed. The level of positivity we each have coming out of this is really dependent on our own individual actions. With a limited amount of outlets and restrictions on social interaction we’ve found ways to stay connected with others, but I’ve also become more connected with myself.

If you really know me then you know I like to have a full social calendar because I love to be out doing things and hanging out with my pals! This time has really taught me to slow the fuck down and to re-evaluate my priorities. I think it’s very easy to get sucked into a bad routine and I wasn’t in my ideal routine recently in Denver before this so I want to take this refreshed mindset back with me. I’ve been able to spend so much time with my family and honestly it’s just what I needed. I haven’t been able to come back home for this long since a summer break in college. This trip home, however, is a little different because it will be my last time coming “home” to this house in Pleasanton. 

My home base is now completely changing and coming “home” will have a totally different meaning. I’m super excited but it’s definitely bittersweet and a little scary! I’ve always embraced change and I know everything will be absolutely fine, but there is always a level of anxiety when you flip to a new chapter in life. This chapter happens to be a geographical move for my family, which also flips a page in my book as well. I didn’t plan to spend 2 months back in Pleasanton and experience the transition with my family, but I’m happy things worked out this way. I’ve been able to reminisce on some amazing memories in this house and get excited for new memories to be made in Southern California. Although I grew up going to and from Southern California we’ve never actually lived there, so I’m excited to see what the transition entails. 

The year 2020 has been a whirlwind consisting of a pandemic, protests, and riots. With all the negativity in the world it’s important to not forget your message and your own personal brand. I’ve matured a lot in these past months and finally had time to breathe and get more in line with what my goals are. This forced reset matched with a big change in my family dynamic has truly turned not only a new page but a whole new chapter in my life. Whatever comes next I know we’ll be able to persevere with a smile and a little twist in the hips. Kindness never goes out of style and that’s something I strive to carry throughout the rest of my book of life. Life’s just a bittersweet symphony, right? 

I also wanted to share this music video from one of my favorite songs as well because it shows a world in which we won’t see again for a very long time. The hustle and bustle of a “simpler” time and the normalcy of life we’re all craving right now. 

Random Acts of Kindness

As the holiday season comes into full swing there have been so many nostalgic moments and memories from my childhood that are slowly starting to change as I get older. This is by far the most difficult holiday season because of my Grammie not being here as well as so many other life changes that have shaped who I am. Both my mom and dad deciding to move from the houses I grew up in has really made me aware that life is changing at an exponential rate for me. I’ve always been the person to like change and when I have a goal I’m going to do everything in my mind to achieve it, so I give a lot of credit to people that just do the damn thing. 

Since Grammie passed away it seems like everything went into action. The house in Pleasanton is going on the market and my mom’s side of the family is moving to SoCal in the summer. This was the first change that I was starting to adjust to and recently my dad decided to sell his house and has already moved to Pleasanton! Talk about moving quickly! I’m really excited for both of them and I’m excited to see how this experience shapes me a young man. I’ll now have to choose and split my time between the holidays and the families, whereas previously I could do it all in one trip. I don’t like to choose like this so it will be a difficult decision come next year. Life is all about dealing with the challenges that are being thrown at you and learning to grow and become a better human because of that. 

As I was sitting at the Thanksgiving table last night I was the only one from my immediate family at my aunt and uncles since the rest of the fam is in Thailand. This was the first time ever that I had Thanksgiving without them and it was a type of maturing experience. As the younger generation is getting older so am I which means stepping up to the plate and setting good examples.

The biggest change of all is not having Grammie here. This year has been pretty terrible to say the least in regards to family members dying, but I’m always trying to take a negative experience to make it positive. It’s humbling to realize that we really need to care and hold on to the people that we care for the most in life since they can be gone before you know it. 

We toasted to Grammie last night at Thanksgiving dinner and I almost started to cry. Not because I’m sad, but because we all have so much love for a woman that loved everyone else unconditionally. I strive to emulate that in my life and remember there is no force powerful than love. Not only did she love the people in her life, but she also loved Christmas. 

With Thanksgiving now over and the Christmas decorations springing up around us I can’t help but to think of her. I know her spirit is always around us but during this season it’s even more apparent. I know it will be a difficult time as it gets closer to Christmas, but to come back to the theme of why I’m even writing this entry it’s all about how life moves fast. The only thing we can really do when we come across difficult situations is persevere and take is as a learning lesson. It’s not like one day you’ll say to yourself “Oh yeah! I’m healed! I’ve persevered!” It’s a process that can only be accomplished by recognizing how you’re reacting and making strides to better yourself as a person. I know Grammie would all want us to be merry this holiday season and share random acts of kindness with the people in our lives. 

Grammie taught me a lot but if there’s anything I can take and truly implement in my life is to unconditionally love the people that mean the most to you in your life. And on that note, I hope everyone is feeling thankful and ready for a warm and cozy Christmas time! 

The Next Foundation

En route back to Denver after a fun weekend of catching up with friends and family only to find myself feeling much more rejuvenated in the fact that I have so many amazing people in my life. I place so much value on weekend getaways because it allows for us to break the normal routine and take a moment to reflect.

I’ve had so many fantastic memories in NYC itself and each time I go it’s completely different. I remember my first time in the city when I was 10 years old and that was truly the beginning of my love for the hustle and bustle. From the initial time I traveled to NYC to now I’e grown so much as a person and my life (and everyone else’s) has changed drastically. One of the biggest reasons that I wanted to go to NYC at this specific time in my life was because after my Grandma passed away it was a huge reminder of how important it is to seize the moment. Life moves really quickly and if you want something you really need to just go for it.

The timing was perfect because I was able to see my cousins Elizabeth and Sheila-Ann as well as Auntie Eye and a few friends from college and study abroad. This was probably the first time in NYC in which I realized I have quite a few friends here and now traveling the city isn’t just about visiting family. I LOVE visiting my family but in the past that’s all New York was because I didn’t have any other connections, but now it’s completely different. 

In realizing this I’ve become more aware of how I’m growing up and on my way to the most exciting time of my life. Your 20’s are exciting, scary, and exhilarating. I feel like I’m starting to really establish myself with a job, a partner, and an amazing network of family and friends across the world. I feel like this trip really made me realize how the myself and everyone my age are starting the foundation for a new generation. It’s super exciting and terrifying in the same sense because the tables are slowly turning. I’ve always been ready for a new challenge but it’s an interesting shift in time happening right now. It’s nothing that can be controlled or reversed rather you need to adapt to it and I’m happy I’m able to reflect and truly understand the gravity of the situation. 

As I was eating lunch with Sheila something really resonated with me that became a topic of discussion. I said “the future will come but we’re in the present so we can create the past.” After saying this I don’t think I realized how meaningful this was to me because the only thing we’re in control of is the present so we mind as well do our best to set ourselves up for a successful future and crate a pleasurable past. I’m going to try and take my own advice a little more and to really focus on engaging in the present. It’s so easy to crave something that’s not yet attainable which isn’t to say it’s important to have future goals, but the present is how we’re able to capture a moment in time. I feel like I’ve been struggling with what some of my long term goals are and I think that focusing more on what’s important to me right now will help me establish an agenda for some long term goals. 

There were a few other resonating moments from my trip and of course one of them was being able to see Annabelle. It brought me back to a time of adventure and curiosity that I had during my time studying abroad. So many amazing memories and I’m so happy I’m able to stay in touch with some of the people in my life during a time period that was so special to me. I was also able to see Ethan, Daniel, and Hannah and it was so great to re-connect with some friends from college and see where we’re all at in our lives. So much has changed but things have stayed the same as well it’s so interesting to see what everyone has been up to post college. 

Of course one of the highlights was seeing Auntie Eye. When I hear New York I think of her upper east side apartment where my love for the big apple all began. I love our breakfasts at Gracie’s diner and how you love your eggs over medium with EXTRA crispy bacon and EXTRA half and half. Any time spent with you is so rewarding and I love our discussions on trying to find loopholes for me to become an Irish citizen and sharing travel stories. 

I’ve been to NYC many a times but this trip I felt was a little different because it was the first time visiting that I really had a shift in thinking of where I’m at in life. There’s been a lot of negative things that have happened in my family recently and a lot of moving on of the older generation. It’s been happening all at once which is quite traumatizing for the entire family and for myself it’s a huge awakening in that we’re all getting older. It’s now more important than ever to step up to the plate and face difficult situation, but also be more aware of how important it is to experience life in its fullest. I’m so happy to have such amazing family and friends in my life to enjoy the crazy journey together. Buckle up and let’s go!

The Big Picture

It has dawned on me recently that while life naturally gets hectic as hell and we get caught up in our day to day and sometimes we can forget about the big picture. What is the big picture? I think that’s something that changes throughout the period of life and drives what you’re focused on to achieve your goals. We may not even know what the big picture truly is at the time and sometimes you need something to happen to you, for better or worse, to shock your system into realizing what really matters to you. 

I can admit to myself that I’ve been in a little bit of a funk recently in realizing what I really want and what’s important to me. I got a new job which has been amazing and that definitely filled a void, but of course there’s more to it. In the past year of living in Denver I have experienced a lot and learned more about who I am as a person. The downside is that I feel like I’ve been focusing my energy in places that could be better spent elsewhere. Trying to force relationships/friendships that aren’t meant to be neither are healthy, figuring out what I want to do long term in regards to my career and personal self, and really bringing back the person who has a thirst for adventure and pushing myself to try new things. The 20 somethings are really something because you have the most freedom in the world with the most anxiety. It’s a weird time, however, there are times when I remember how important it is to come back to center and realize my big picture. 

I’ve been so lucky to have such an amazing and supportive family throughout my life, however, we are all dealing with something that is going to be one of the most difficult things ever. On the flip side I’ve been able to learn and reflect so much as well. For those that don’t know my grandma has been battling cancer for essentially 30 years dating back to the 80s when she first was diagnosed with breast cancer. This of course was scary and devastating, but little did we know this was just the beginning. After defeating her breast cancer we enjoyed spending time with each other and living life to the fullest and about 7 years ago she was diagnosed again with ovarian cancer. Just imagine winning the World Series 20 years ago and then having an umpire demanding a re-do. For the past 7 years she has been battling cancer again and we have been so fortunate to have her alongside us, however, sometimes things happen that we have no control over. I think that’s the scariest thing about cancer is that no matter how much medicine, hope, money, or love nothing can stop it because I know that if it was possible we’d stop it. It has been a very emotional past few weeks since my grandma decided to go off treatment, but it’s also been a huge moment of realization for myself and I think the rest of the family. We’ve really all come together to appreciate how much of amazing person my grandma is.

Kay Foley is the person who you can talk to anything about without the fear of judgment. She is the person you go to when nobody else will listen. The person that is always giving and loving without the expectation of anything in return. She is the true embodiment of selflessness and resilience. And I feel so lucky to have such a strong person to look up to a strive to live by. I’ve been able to learn so much from you that I’ll carry throughout my life, but I think the most important thing would that when obstacles arise the only thing you can do is tackle them. Kay Foley is a cancer first string cancer linebacker that you would not want to face on the field because she would take you DOWN! 

There have been many tears, hugs, and long conversations about what is going on however I’m trying my best to embrace what is happening in a way to have her truly live on forever. Though myself, through my family, and through the way we conduct ourselves as human beings. 

In these past few weeks I’ve uncovered who I am as a human more than ever before. My big picture is that life can be great but when things turn the other direction you need to switch gears and go down that road full speed. I think there’s many paths in life you can take, but there’s only one path that is yours and its your job to go full speed ahead with the lessons you’ve learned in a way to make the world a better place than where you left it. I love you so much grammie and you’re such an important figure in my life. Thanks for helping my pave my path. 

Put it in Drive & Ride

It’s definitely going to take some time to re-acclimatize to the Coloradan snow after a week of the Costa Rican sun and adventure. I feel like both Marissa and I can agree that this trip was packed full of surprises considering the fact that we literally planned everything on the fly and everything somehow worked out in the end. I’m really happy that we didn’t stay at some all inclusive resort or go with a tour company because it allowed us to really “put it in drive and ride!” Although there were times where we were both stressed and freaking out I think the adrenaline that comes with that outweighs the comforts of security. We both have the same mindset in that I want an adventure and that comes with being spontaneous and accepting things as they come, which is exactly what we did! 

The best decision of this trip was to rent a car. Our lovely “Monty” as we called him (short for Monteverde) took us all over Costa Rica and we definitely pushed him to the limits. Since we didn’t really plan much at all neither of us had very high expectations so that our actual experience would be organic. There was a route and a few things we wanted to do, but it didn’t even occur to me that like 80% of our drive was on mountainous dirt roads filled with pot holes. Keep in mind this California boy refuses to drive at the sight of snow and now I’m expected to drive through the Costa Rican mountains?! BRING IT ON!! Monty kept us safe but also allowed for us to come and go as we please so we were able to really see a lot of the country in a short period of time. 

We started off the trip in San Jose which was literally the worst city I’ve ever been to so it wasn’t a great start to the trip. The hostel was crappy, the people were rude, and we were staying a very sketchy part of the city but I didn’t want to let this negative first impression to put a damper on the rest of the trip. Soon after San Jose we made our way to Monteverde which was really interesting. I think both Marissa and I assumed it would be a lot more rainforest like, but rather it was very dry and dusty. We did an amazing zip line though and saw beautiful parts of the countryside. We packed in our time in Monteverde and then made our way to the beaches in Tamarindo. This was our time to play, enjoy some relaxation on the beach and to really just treat ourselves. The initial arrival into Tamarindo was stressful because our hostel had an issue with our reservation and we needed to find another place to stay on the fly with just a few hours before it got dark. We managed to find a super cute bed and breakfast that was owned by a former tennis pro! Another lesson we learned this trip is that everything happens for a reason, even when you don’t think so in the moment! Tamarindo was amazing but I think we can both agree that Arenal was our absolute favorite part of the trip.

I’ve never seen an active volcano let alone hike around one until I went to Arenal. I felt like a tiny little ant next to it and really just tried to focus on it’s amazing beauty. This was the Costa Rica I wanted to see. The rain forest, waterfalls, hiking. Arenal had it all. We met another guy from Washington D.C. so we had a buddy for a part of the trip and I’m happy we crossed paths because he recommended us to wake up really early to check out the La Fortuna waterfall so that we will be the only ones there. We did just that and it was so cool to be the only two people swimming in one of the world’s most famous waterfalls. Truly magical and a great way to end our trip before we headed back to San Jose. 

We truly did pack this week with a lot of activities but I think my favorite aspects was to be able to disconnect from work and take a moment to realize where I am in life. Marissa and I had an amazing conversation at our hostel in Monteverde which basically consisted of ‘if you want something, then now is the time to do it!’ Neither of us really have anything tying us down or preventing us from achieving our goals. It’s of course important to have realistic goals, but what I think is even more important is realizing how you can pave the way to make it happen. I really want to go to Australia and work the harvest trail so it’s going to be more on my radar to make this happen in the next year or so. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with what I want for longer term goals and after this trip I have a lot more clarity into what I want. This trip was also really important for me because it’s been the first time in my life that I’ve completely financed a big trip like this on my own and I’m proud that I made it a reality. I truly believe you can make anything happen if you really put your mind to it and although something may not seem right or goes in a different direction that you thought it will all fall into place in the end. 

Sometimes I need to reflect and look at what I’ve accomplished in my life so far considering that fact I’m only 23! I feel so lucky to have done so much and have some amazing people in my life, but I’m definitely not done yet. Costa Rica started off as a thought and dream, but through action it became a reality. If you really want something you just gotta do it otherwise it’ll just pass you by, so in a world full a dreamers but the one that makes it a reality! 

Looking to the Future

This past year was a very interesting year with a lot of change, realizations, and truly figuring out what I want to accomplish with the skills I’ve attained throughout college. This time last year I had come back from my backpacking trip in Southeast Asia and it was my primary goal to get a full time job and move to Denver, which I was successful in accomplishing and now it’s been almost a full year since I’ve started my life in Denver. It truly is almost hard to believe that it’s almost been a year, because it has literally flown by. Now that I’m working full time everything around me moves so much faster and I’ve realized it has become hard to focus on multiple things at once. Evolve has been an amazing opportunity and I’m excited to see where I’ll go there, but now that I spend most of my life there it seems like all I’m focused on is work. One of my goals for 2019 is to focus more on a work and MY life balance. Some of the best perks of Evolve are all the happy hours and post-work events that we have, but it’s still circulated around work. Don’t get me wrong I love it there but I’ve recently realized that I need to focus more energy on the things I love to do outside work. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been working full time and have had this type of feeling, but after doing it for nearly a year I’ve quickly realized that it’s only natural and really healthy to have the balance so that I’m more productive at work but also have a clearer understanding as to what my long term goals are. 

As far as my long term goals go I have a few different paths I’ve been torn with and that have been constantly racing through my head. Denver is amazing and I think it’s been an amazing place to start my career, but I’m still in the learning period as to whether or not I want to be here long term. It’s perfect for now and I love being here in my early twenties with all my friends from college and a great job, but I have a feeling that in the next few years I will outgrow it here and be ready to move on to something bigger. One of my favorite aspects about Denver is the community here and the fact that I do have a large network of friends and connections, however I know myself in that I always crave something bigger and a challenge for myself. Denver itself hasn’t been much of a challenge for me because I’ve spent the past few years just down the road in Boulder, but on the flip side it has allowed me to really flourish and given me the opportunity to shift from college into a professional job path. In the long term I don’t know yet if Denver will be the place for me and one of my biggest weaknesses is that I’m impatient. My biggest fear is that I’ll be impulsive and make a career move or move away from Denver and regret it so sometimes I need to take a step back to think about what I really want and in order for me to find the room to breath is to really find that balance with work and life. I’m very much so the person that works to live and doesn’t live to work unless the work that I do is something that I’m truly passionate about and that is my ultimate long term goal. 

I think 2019 will be a great year full of even more realizations, new and old friends coming together, and further personal development that will lead me to my long term goals. I’ve been pretty much financially independent and with that comes a lot of freedom and equally as much responsibility in my actions. My life has never been as much in my control ever and it’s exciting but also daunting. I’m excited to see where things take me and I’m definitely along for the ride. With the lessons I’ve learned in 2018 and the new mindset I have going into this new year I have much more confidence in how I’m going to achieve my future goals. I’m telling myself to be patient and to think as everything I do as a stepping stone. It wont be easy and there will be times where I will feel a little lost again but life about figuring things out a long the way. What works, what doesn’t work and how to use the lessons you’ve learned to apply them in a positive light. Bring it on 2019!

Finding the Balance

Summer is almost over and all I can say is that it’s been quite an adventure. From moving into my new apartment with the best roomie ever to bottomless mimosas and countless park days it’s been one of the most eventful summers yet. It almost feels like this summer has been a whole year in itself with so many new friends, friends who have left, and a whole lot of amazing experiences that I’ll never forget. The beginning of the summer for me was really when I moved into my new apartment with Meaghan. This was the first time that I’ve had my own apartment in a city and oh can I tell you we’ve made use of it. I’m able to walk to work and be close enough to downtown that it’s almost dangerous because of all the great happy hours and delicious restaurants. The last time I lived in a city was Paris and all I can say is that I’m definitely a city boy at heart. I hate being bored and love to have an agenda. What’s the best happy hour in the area? Where can I get the yummiest pizza for the best price? How can I get to that rooftop? I’m always exploring and there’s always something different to find and do here. I’ve always been the type of person to suck in any experience that is around me and this summer is my first “young professional” summer where I’m working full time and trying to hang on to my college lifestyle. I’ve come to learn, however, that the term “young professional” is a mixture of working your ass off, partying your ass off, but most importantly finding the balance between the two. 

The engine started to really rumble once I got settled in my new apartment and I was essentially in the center of Denver. I loved the fact that I can get happy hour downtown with my coworkers and grab a quick bite to eat after work. And oh man, once those bird scooters started popping up around Denver I was scootering all around town. It’s been so nice to really make this apartment my own (with Meaghan of course). We’ve come to the conclusion that we have the best parties, movie nights, and pre-games so naturally we’re the hostesses with the mostest. The amount of wine decor we have is alarming, but also soothing at the same time. It will definitely prepare us for our first annual winefest this weekend. All I can say is that I’m excited to be living in a great location in an apartment that we’ve made our own with an amazing wine-mate. 

One of the best things about summer is the weather and of course when it’s nice out what else should you be doing besides day drinking??? Denver truly comes alive during the summer time and there are so many amazing outdoor events that take place. Jazz in the park has to be my favorite event that has happened this summer. Getting a bunch of people together, with some good wine, and snacks while listening to some jazz music and playing spike ball. What more can you ask for? It’s truly the simple things in life and just getting a nice summer buzz on. 

What’s a summer in Colorado without a few Red Rocks shows? I’ve always been an avid concert go-er and this summer is not exempt. From Louis the Child, Griz, Odesza it’s been quite a fun time. There is really something magical about Red Rocks and it always puts me in a good mood when I’m there. Sharing such amazing memories with the people I love. This summer is one for the books in regards to music and concerts. I guess we’ll have to see if next summer will top this one. 

And how can I forget the most important reason why I’m here in Denver. Evolve. This company has been such an amazing opportunity for me and since I’ve started I got promoted. It was the reason why I was able to move to Denver and I’m taking every opportunity I can to learn and grow. I’m so happy with my new position and I feel as though I getting the experience needed to pursue a career in sales while also building relationships with my fantastic coworkers. A 9-5 job can only be as glamorous as you make it and not everything is going to be perfect. The experience that I’m getting is incredible and I’m truly thankful to be where I am. If you take it one step at a time and you’ll be able to achieve whatever you want. 

I think the overall theme for me has definitely been finding a balance between work and play. When I first started it was all about meeting friends and establishing myself and once summer really hit full swing it became a party. Happy hours transitioning to late nights which at first was a blast, but everything comes back to get you. I’ve really come to realize that I’m at a point in my life where I have so much that’s available to me and it’s up to me and only me to make decisions that will determine my future. Anything in moderation is ok, but you have to be aware of what moderation is. I’ve started to really find more of a balance between work and play and I feel so much more productive at work and just in general feel so much better about myself. I’m a young adult and that means realizing what you can and can’t handle. 

As the summer of 2018 comes to an end it will be a bittersweet good bye to rooftop drinks, warm summer nights, and hanging out by the pool but if you know me at all then I’m definitely ready for some pumpkin spice and movie nights. I’ve learned a lot this summer being it my first time on my own as a working professional in a city and all the lessons I’ll be able to carry on with myself. I’m excited to continue to learn more about myself and the world around me, but now I will do it with a scarf around my neck and some furry slippers. Bring on the pumpkins!

This song just reminds me of summer, but more importantly this summer. We’ve all got magic in our hands. Feelin good, sippin some rose, and jammin out.

Social Butterfly

It's been almost two months since I moved to Denver and it's been such a crazy adventure so far. A new job where I've already made some amazing friends. I've been able to see all my friends from Boulder, and even re-connect with a lot of old friends as well. The only thing that will make living here even better is once I get my own place, which is happening in about a month. I'm so excited to finally get my own apartment with my friend Meaghan. It's a perfect combo. Many wine nights and dinner parties in our future!

It's been a crazy transition from living at home where I would ask my mom to go get drinks with me because I have no friends in Pleasanton to literally having plans every single day. I'm completely ok with that because I hate being bored, but oh man am I a social butterfly for better or worse. Even though it's only been two months a whole hell of a lot of stuff has happened and I know this summer is going to be the best summer yet. So many Red Rocks shows and patio drinking in my future. 

The most significant change that has happened with my move to Denver has obviously been my new job. Evolve has been even better than I expected and not because my job is super glamorous or anything, but because my coworkers make my heart sing. I've made so many awesome friends and we all get along so great which makes me enjoy going to work everyday. I honestly had no idea I would like it as much as I do. From going out after town hall and showing up un-acceptably hungover on Friday to the brunches that go until 2am it's been lovely. I'm excited for even more stories, to make more friends, and to learn more about the industry. I'm not really sure where Evolve will take me, but I do know that Evolve is a massive networking opportunity and I'm excited to meet more people. 

I've also been able to reconnect with a lot of friends from college that now live in Denver. It's crazy how in college your friend group and social life just explodes and then it slowly dwindles down after and then you really need to make an effort to see people. I've always really valued the people in my life so I try super hard to maintain my friendships even if its a happy hour ever few weeks or so. It really is the effort that counts and I can tell you that it definitely doesn't go un-noticed. I also love how everyone is just doing their own thing. Back in college we were all working towards one goal being to get a degree, but now all our goals are scattered. Some of my friends want to go back to school while others want to go travel and I love how diverse my friends are. I'm a lucky guy and I'm excited to see where everyone goes!

Although I miss college at times I definitely like having money and being able to have more freedom. I definitely made my time at CU worth while and being able to start my professional career in Denver has been the perfect transition. Yes I still go out and party on the weekends, but as long as you know a balance I think there's no harm in that. I definitely don't go out on Thursdays anymore (unless its town hall haha). I do feel like I lucked out getting a job at Evolve. I feel like I fit in super well and it's also a great place to develop professionally. It's only been a about two months but I'm eager to learn to even more. I like having money, but something my mom told me before I left is that the only thing money gives you is freedom. Truest statement ever and that's why I strive to have a great work life balance. Happy hours are my new favorite hobby. 

I don't know how long I'll be in Denver. It could be a year, or it could be 10 years. I'm living my motto from Vietnam and being like water. All you can do is go with the flow and let things happen. I do, however, have just a few goals for my life in Denver:

• Be promoted at Evolve
• Hike a 14er
• Go snowboarding and not fall even once
• Join the Alliance Francaise to keep up with my French
• Raise $2,000 for the Aids Run 5K in August

These a only a couple things I could think of off the top of my head, but I'm excited to see what else is in store for me in Denver. Bring it on!

To be honest I chose this video because I want to party like these guys in the mountains... it's also a pretty cool song though. Cheers!

"To build a future, you have to know the past."

Its been about two months since I’ve returned home from my trip in Southeast Asia and although I haven’t been zipping around on my motorcycle and drinking snake blood a lot has happened and I’m excited to see where my recent decisions will take me in the next few years. Starting from the minute I got home I was thrown into the whirlwind of family time for the holidays and it was a great way to return home and be surrounded by family after being completely solo and independent for three months in Asia. Everyone was eager to hear about my travels and I enjoyed sharing and spending time with family. I wasn’t necessarily getting homesick towards the end of my trip, rather I was starting to feel nostalgic for all the memories of the holidays and I was excited to reminisce once I got home. 

One thing that was a little tough for me was the reverse culture shock. This has always been a sort of struggle similarly when I came back from studying abroad. I had to get used to not always having something new and exciting to do, but instead embrace the enjoyment of routine. I immediately starting working again at Kids Club, which I’m super thankful for because I probably had $4 to my name when I came home. What I struggled with the most was not being surrounded by people my age anymore. I’m back home with my family and little sisters, working, and applying for “big boy jobs” in Denver. Back to good ol’ Pleasanton where I don’t really have many friends. I’m such a social person and I get along great with my sisters and family members, but man are there times where I just want to go out with some friends and take tequila shots. Trust me when I say Pleasanton isn’t known for its pub crawls, but instead we go sing Karaoke at the Sunshine Saloon (where my mom went to when she was my age!) on Thursdays. It was nice to take in all the cute aspects of Pleasanton, but after a while I got bored and started to get anxious to get out to Denver. Luckily I was the only person in control of how fast I could get out to Denver and that meant getting a job out there as fast as possible which I ended up doing, but before I go into that I want to talk about my trip out to Denver for new years. 

After a couple weeks of being home I was already bored and I knew that going to Denver for new years would not only be a great time to visit some friends, but also get me even more mentally prepared to move out there. I hadn’t seen some of my friends in Colorado since graduation and I was dying to catch up with them. I’m so beyond happy that I made my way out there because it made me realize how much more I want to be out in Colorado and also how much I’m loved and how lucky I am to have such amazing friends. The biggest take away from 2017 for me was the love the people in your life and I wanted to talk about some of my friends that made my trip to Denver extra special. First of all, Kaylyn:

Kaylyn I can’t even put in to words how much I love you and I’m so happy that we were able to spend so much time together when I was out in Denver. You’re like a sister to me and we’ve grown so much together in these past few years that I’ve known you and I know that we are going to be life long friends. You’re one of the sweetest and more genuine people I know and you’re so unconditionally caring to all of the people in your life. We’ve had some pretty awesome experiences together whether it be Electric Forest or just sipping on some margaritas at Illegal Pete’s. Any moment shared with you is a special one. One moment in particular that I will never forget was when we went to Paper Diamond together. This was when we just started hanging out and I remember on the way home we were listening to Odesza the entire drive back and I just felt so happy to be with you and I never thought that I could’ve met such an amazing and kind hearted person. I want you to know that you’re loved and I can’t wait to create more experiences with you once I’m in Colorado!

Erica & Soraya

All I can say about you two is damn I’m so happy Kaylyn and you guys lived together in college because if not then we probably would never have met and I can’t imagine my life without you both. Erica, we’ve shared some pretty amazing experiences together but most recently I thoroughly enjoyed our drive up to Granby together. We talked nonstop for the entire drive up there and the conversations ranged from how much fun decadence was to future career aspirations and even just about general things that are making us happy in life. These are the experience that I value the most. Just the simple and organic conversations about what’s going  on in life. It was so nice to catch up with you and take in the beautiful drive as well. I feel like I can talk with you about anything and your energy for life is contagious. We’ve always had such a great bond and I love being with you. You just make me feel so happy and loved. I feel so lucky to call you one of my best friends and I can’t wait to create more memories back in Colorado. 

Soraya you’re literally a little ball of sunshine that can brighten up anyone’s day. Whenever I’m around you I just feel like my energy has been lifted and I love that you can make anyone feel special. I’m so happy we were able to spend so much time together when I was in Denver and even though I split my lip on a piano in Fort Collins it was worth it to be able to spend time with you. I remember when we were all out to dinner at Fuzzy’s and you kept saying “We are young professionals!” It got me thinking that I’m so happy to be surrounded by driven and inspirational individuals. We all experienced the ups and downs of college together and now we are about to embark on another chapter of life together with even more ups and downs. I’m so fortunate to have you in my life and can’t wait to start a new chapter with you and everyone else. 

Stephanie! I’m so happy that we’ve gotten closer because you’re the tits (literally). We had some pretty awesome times together while I was in Denver and one of my favorites was when we were all getting ready for Decadence in the hotel room. Probably my favorite part about concerts is the whole getting ready part and with Decadence especially I felt so loved to have all my amazing friends getting ready together. I feel so lucky to call you one of my friends and I want you to know that I value every moment we have together. I love you! You’re such a sweetie and all I want right now is to have some tacos and margaritas with you. I can’t wait to make even more memories with you! 

Marissa, we've had some pretty awesome experiences together from our fun times in Boulder to our crazy adventure at Oktoberfest we always know how to have a good time. I'm so happy we were able to see each other when I was in Denver because it had been a while since we've seen each other and we were definitely due for some catching up. I think its crazy that we've known each other from the beginning of college when we were going to frat parties and now we are graduated and have jobs! We went through the whole cycle together and I just remember stressing about finals with you and expressing our love for travel with each other. I'm so happy to call you one of my best friends and I can't wait to see what Denver has in store for us. Love you so much... wine and indian food?? 

Avery it had been all the way since graduation since I saw you last before my trip to Colorado and a lot had happened in both our lives since then. Even though we just had a short amount of time together I’m so happy we were able to make something happen because I missed my bachelor and wine lover. Even though we hadn’t seen each other in nearly 6 months it was like no time had passed because I know that we are going to be life long friends. We’ve shared some crazy experiences together whether it be our time in Paris or our time in Boulder talking about Paris haha. But honestly we’ve grown so much together and I know that the chapters are going to keep on writing themselves. I love you so so much and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. We had a very unique bond and I know that I can trust you with anything, confide in you, and ask you for advice on whatever is going on in my life. I want you to know that I can’t imagine my life without you and I value our friendship so much. I’m so excited to see what life has in store for us and what our next adventure will be. Love you!

Salome my French lover I felt so fortunate to have been able to see you when I was in Denver! I know to really cherish every moment we have with each other because we rarely get to see each other. I loved being able to chat with you and catch up about how things are going. I can't believe that we met when I was studying abroad in Paris and now you've completed your year abroad in Colorado and now you might be moving back. We would be so spoiled if you came back to Colorado! You're the sweetest little croissant and I'm so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank you for being such a genuine and lovely soul. I really hope you can make your way back out to Colorado. Love you so much!

Well now that my love fest for all my amazing friends is over it’s time to get back to the post-trip reflections. Immediately when I got back from my trip I started applying for jobs in Denver, and one really spoke out to me. It was with Evolve Vacation Rental Network. I applied and the next day I got an email asking for an interview which got me really excited. Well after one phone interview, one in person panel interview, a mock sales call, and an interview with the director of sales I landed the job and as of now I have less than two weeks until I start! It definitely happened a lot fast than I thought, but I’m so happy to have a “big boy job” in Denver. I’m excited to start working on my career and continuing to professionally develop and surround myself with others who are serious about their careers and what they want in life. 

Not gonna lie after a while of being home I felt a little shitty because I craved so much to get out to Denver and it wasn’t happening until I got a job. Now that I landed the job and can finally move out to Denver I feel so much more stable and have an even clearer direction of where I want to be. So far 2018 has been pretty awesome. A new job in the city where I want to be surrounded by the people I love. Sounds great to me! 

Thank you to all the amazing people in my life for always being there for me. The biggest lesson of 2017 for me was the value every relationship in your life and I feel like the luckiest man on Earth to have such amazing friends who will continue to help me write the chapters in my life. 

I chose this song because I remember hearing this on my drive up to the mountains and it instilled a sense of "everything is going to be ok" in me. I'm alive and healthy, surrounded by love, and ready for whatever life throws at me. I'm excited to see where my new job and new life in Denver will take me!

A New Beginning

As my trip has come to an end it comes time to move on and embrace another path in my life. I've been so fortunate to have learned so much throughout my journey here in Southeast Asia, and I feel so much more grounded and ready to start my life as a young professional in Denver. Before this trip I was struggling with what I wanted to do and where I wanted to be, however, I realized that I'm ready to start a life in Denver because every time I got homesick I had this yearning to go back to Colorado not California. Trust me I've had plenty of times on this trip when I got into a funk and was not happy, but looking back on all I've accomplished I know that I can do anything and the skills I've learned here are transferable to any career path I decide to take. There were many highs and many lows, but that's all part of the trip and the finale is just as important as the beginning. I've been having a lot of bittersweet feelings lately due to my Southeast Asian Season Finale because when I was here it was like nothing else in the world mattered and all I was focusing on was what right in front of me, which is great but now that it's over I'm struggling with realizing that not only myself but all my friends have gone back to their own reality. Nothing will ever be the same as it was these past few months, whether it be good or bad it's how it is. I had such an incredible experience and at times I just didn't want it to end, but of course everything will come to an end eventually and I think how you deal with these situations can either make you go crazy or feel at peace.

I've been reading this book called "Sapiens" by Yuval Noah Harari and there is a passage that really stood out to me about dealing with the end of my trip. Harari details the life of Siddhartha Gautama and his meditation techniques to deal with his own reality and accept things (good or bad) as they are. As I was reading this I automatically thought that this is directly in correlation as to how I'm trying to accept the fact that things are changing for better or worse. I'm excited for whats next to come in my life, but also sad to leave behind this trip. I'm also leaving behind a part of me that was not as level headed and unsure about what I wanted in life. This trip has given me a general route of what I want to do, and I believe that this route will open up many other paths that will help me achieve any goal I want. Harari further talks about how Gautama developed a set of ethical rules so that people could focus on actual experience rather than falling into cravings and fantasies. He says that craving always causes dissatisfaction, and the only way to avoid this is to question "what am I experiencing now?" rather than "what would I rather be experiencing?" Gautama said that its necessary to avoid killing, promiscuous sex and theft, since such acts fuel the fire of craving and when there is no fire we can enter a state of nirvana and be fully liberated from all suffering. As I was reading this passage next to the pool at our hotel I just immediately felt like a weight have been lifted off my shoulders. Everything felt so much more clear, because I was able to understand that life is all about embracing the good and bad. Although I've been living in a different reality, I'm ready to go back to my own reality with a new mindset. Traveling is the best form of education and no matter how old you are, how smart you are, or how well-traveled you are there is always something to learn through traveling.

I can list off a bunch of things I've learned on this trip, but that would result in a 1000 page memoir. Yes, I've had some monumental realizations but also some small ones that have completely changed my outlook on life. I just generally feel so much happier, confident with myself, and content with how things are in my life. A trip like this is much more valuable than reading a textbook or taking a class, and I want to spread the benefits of travel so that other people can experience the same thing as myself. I feel so beyond fortunate to have had the opportunity to accomplish such an adventure and to finish it off all the way until the end. Thank you to everyone who helped me get to where I am today, because I wouldn't be the same person without your support. An end is just a new beginning! Much love, and catch me if you can because I've got a flight back to San Francisco to catch!

The People You Meet Along the Way

I really can't believe that in eight days I will be boarding a flight home (with my mom!) back to California. After three months of hostel hopping, riding motorcycles, and eating all sorts of good food my time in Southeast Asia is coming to an end. It really has been a whirlwind of a journey and I consider myself so lucky for having met such amazing people throughout this trip. I really want to dedicate this post to some of the people that really made my trip so memorable. First off, Stephanie!

Stephanie - 

Deciding to stay at Nappark hostel was the best decision I made on this trip, because that's where I met the amazing Steph. We met on my first night in Bangkok and to be honest we did the usual "where are you from" and "how long are you traveling for" type of conversation and then moved on to other people. It was on the second day that we started really talking because word around the hostel was that Steph was trying to go to the islands, and it just so happened that I was also itching to get to the beach. Having known her name, where she was from, and a general idea of what her travel plans were I decided that I would propose a trip to Koh Tao together. With barely any hesitation she agreed, and about 3 hours later we were boarding an overnight bus together to Koh Tao. Little did I know that asking Steph to go to Koh Tao would result in a three month long trip that I can't imagine experiencing without her. We've gone through so much together, but I wanted to highlight some of my favorite moments with Steph. Starting from the beginning I just enjoyed your attitude toward everything. Always open to trying new things and going off the beaten path. It was a dynamic duo from the start. We got to know each other very fast especially after the 12 hour overnight bus and ferry to Koh Tao where I learned that when you put on your "Donut Disturb" eye mask that it truly means leave me alone until I have enough sleep and food. Avoid hangry Steph at all costs, but once we got some toasties everything feels right in the world.

Another key moment that I remember is when it was the four of us (Steph, Dan, Tharmitha, and I) in Khao Sok. On our second night there we decided to grab some beers and chat outside our bungalow and that was one of the first times that everyone really opened up about things going on in our lives. It was a moment where I felt even more connected to you because after traveling with each other for a while we are comfortable and trust each other to talk about whatever is on our mind. I felt so lucky that we got along so well and that we were able to get to know each other in such a short time frame, but that's one of the amazing things about traveling. You get to know each other fast, and I mean fast. You spend literally day in and day out with each other and the bonds you create while traveling are unique.

I can quickly breeze over some other fun times we had like our time in Koh Phi Phi drinking "smoothies" and just wandering around the yellow brick road. There have been some really fun, and I mean FUN times we've had drinking Chang and causing shenanigans all around Southeast Asia, but to be honest with you my favorite time with you was drinking wine (naturally) on the hostel balcony in Hoi An. It was just the two of us hanging out on the bean bags drinking wine and talking about how far we've come in the trip and how much more we have. I also learned that you were a U2 lover and we were jamming out to some great tunes while sipping on our fermented grape juice. It was also a special moment because it was right in the middle of our trip and I was in a sort of funk because I was missing home a little bit and starting to get bittersweet feelings about the trip in general. Talking with you, however, really was just what I needed and it was so important because the conversation was all about traveling and how it shapes you as a person. How there are ups and downs. Especially in regards to meeting people. I think one of the hardest things to do when doing a solo trip like this is when people part ways. You create such a bond with your travel buddies and its the people you're with that make your trip, so when someone leaves it can completely change the vibe. I'll really never forget this organic and important conversation that we shared with each other.

As the months have passed we are back together again in Bangkok and being able to go back and visit Nappark with you was such a treat. It was a full circle. Where it all began, and where it ends. We were the life of the party, of course, and as you are sipping on the 300 baht wine we split I'm looking over at you and I know that we will be friends forever. I can't describe every moment we've shared, but I wanted to let you know that I love you and this trip would not have been so awesome without you. You're like a bundle of happiness and I admire that. Wherever you end up after this trip, I know you will be so successful at whatever you do. Keep on being awesome, and always remember you can never have too many toasties ;).

Tharmitha- 

Tharmitha you were the very first person I met after arriving in Bangkok and I remember hearing you say "Canada" was the most re-assuring thing to hear, and I knew that I needed to befriend you for the sake of having someone to speak English with. We connected immediately and the terribly long taxi ride from the airport really gave us a chance to get to know each other. It just so happened that we had the same general idea of a route we wanted to take in Southeast Asia so from that moment I knew that we would probably be traveling together for some time. Just like that we were travel buddies! Although we stayed in different places in Bangkok we met up again in Koh Tao, which is where I have my most memorable moment with you.

It seems a little silly, but when we were eating breakfast together overlooking the beach we had a very important conversation. We discussed what we wanted out of this trip. I remember thinking to myself "what DO I want?" In my head I just wanted to explore this part of the world and it seemed to be the most logical time for me to go since I just finished school and had so much free time. In my heart I wanted to find out more about myself. It's hard when you graduate from college because you're faced with so many different paths you can take and it seems overwhelming at times. What do you do? I felt that taking this trip would help guide me to which road I should take through helping me become more comfortable with myself and learning how I can utilize my natural skill sets in a career. Looking back on it now, I feel so much more grounded and ready for whatever life throws at me. You really got me thinking at an early stage of my trip as to what I wanted and how I can achieve these goals.

We've also had some pretty fun times on Koh Phi Phi. I remember on the ferry to the island we kept telling ourselves that this is our last chance to party on the Thai islands, so we have to make the most of it! We rallied as much as we could but the full moon party really destroyed us, and I felt that we were on the same wavelength the entire time. We complemented each other well and I'm so happy that I was able to experience Southern Thailand and parts of Cambodia with you! Until next time, Tharmy! LOVE YA!

Dan & Esben-

Dan, I remember when we first met at the tourist information office while we were waiting to get on the bus to Koh Tao, and I had no idea that we would end up becoming so close and travel all of Southern Thailand together. Suffering through that awful bus ride to Koh Tao really forced us to get to know each other and get close super quick. I also remember thinking that it was awesome that you were traveling solo and had no plans like me, which made it possible for us to hang out and travel together. We shared some pretty awesome memories together but one of my favorites was when we were on Koh Phi Phi. We were just walking up and down through the yellow brick road on the island and just chatting away until we decided to sit down and chill near the ferry dock. It was you, Esben, Stephanie, Tharmitha, and myself and I just remember thinking how awesome it was that we were all from different countries and solo travelers. I really felt like I was in a movie because I never thought that I would have met such amazing people and been able to bond with them so quickly. The whole night we talked about everything that was on our minds, and we all had a lot on our mind. It was the beginning or middle of everyone's trip so we could reflect on some things that have happened and also think of whats to come next. I really wish you could have traveled with us more, but I will always cherish our moments that we had together and I know that we will see each other again in the future!

I also have one of my favorite moments with you, Esben, while we were on Koh Phi Phi. We met on Koh Tao but we ended up being in Koh Phi Phi at the same time as well, which worked out perfectly! Esben, you're one hell of a guy and you really showed me how to go with the flow and not care about what other people think. You are such a free spirit and you're positive and adventurous attitude is contagious. I just really loved your presence because you made everything so fun and crazy with your spontaneous attitude. You were always down for whatever came your way and you taught me so much. You really helped me come out of my shell in the beginning of the trip and I vividly remember sitting at the ferry dock with you and talking with you and everyone else about our trips. You had already done a lot of traveling before us so I was asking you for all the tips and tricks, and your carefree outlook on the trip made me realize that its a good thing that I have no itinerary. The only two things I had booked before the trip was a ferry to Koh Tao and a flight from Krabi, neither of which I got on and I'm so happy I did because i never would have met you or probably anyone else on the trip. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm so happy I was able to meet you. Thank you Esben!!!

Parker-

Ahhh Parker you were my frat bro, cali kid, Chang train buddy and I'm so happy that we traveled so much together and had some awesome experiences. I remember meeting you and all you were wearing was either UCSB or other California attire and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Did you go to school in California or something?! We had some pretty fun times together but a few of my favorites are when we were in Kampot. This is where we had some time to take a break from the Chang train and get to know each other a little better. I remember I was so in love with your music taste and we were just jamming out listening to Client Liason and chatting about our trip. I also remember you telling me about your motorbike crash in Pai and how your foot got all messed up. I shouldn't have laughed at your foot because little did I know that I would end up getting in a crash and have a gnarly wound just like you! I will never forget our motorbike ride up to Dalat when we had one breakdown after another. Remember when my motorbike broke down in the mountains and we befriended all these local kids? Yeah, that was probably one of my favorite moments in Vietnam and you were there with me drinking a beer while my bike was getting fixed. I loved that you were always down to do anything and that we could bond about California together. Thanks for an amazing experience and I will see you in Colorado. Fuck yeah!

Rachel & David-

Where do I even begin with you two?! I think it's necessary to thank the Mad Monkey pool in Siem Reap for bringing us together because if we hadn't met then my trip would have been completely different. We essentially traveled all of Southeast Asia together. I'm so happy that I broke the ice by saying "get in the pool, its not that cold" because that was the beginning of a lifelong friendship. I remember thinking that you guys were the hottest couple (lol) and that it was so nice that you were traveling together. After getting to know you guys a little bit more I soon found out that was not the case! We've shared SO many experiences together and I truly can't even begin to describe how much of an impact both of you had on me. First off, Rachel!

Rachel I can't even begin to describe how lucky I feel to have met you. We instantly connected after we met in Siem Reap and our friendship kept on growing throughout the entire trip. I wish I could write about every awesome moment we had but we had way too many, however, I would like to highlight one of my favorites when we were in Chiang Mai together. After we parted our ways in Vietnam I didn't think that I would see you again and when I saw your face at the hostel in Chiang Mai I was filled with joy. I'm so happy that I was able to share the experience of the Loy Krathong festival together because that it truly a once in a lifetime experience. Even though you can go back and participate in the festival again, you cant recreate the way you feel at a certain moment. I felt a feeling of pure happiness and relief when I let go of that lantern in the sky. I wanted to share that moment with people I care about and I'm so beyond happy that you were there. You always made me feel so good about myself with your amazing outlook on life. You're positive energy radiates and I honestly cant believe that I met such an amazing girl at some pool at a hostel. Who would've thought that we would've shared so many crazy stories together? Another moment that I remember so perfectly was right after we got our motorbikes and were driving to Mui Ne in the middle of a thunderstorm. We were in way over our heads and when we were sitting at that restaurant on the side of the road when that guy got into the motorbike accident I knew that we were in for a crazy journey. Honestly thank god you're an EMT because you probably saved my foot from falling off after I got into my accident. Also thank you so much for letting me use all your neosporin to heal my wounds. I still owe you a bottle! I know that we will forever stay friends and you're ALWAYS welcome in California or Colorado (wherever I am)! You're going so so far in life and I know you will continue to live your life with adventure and excitement like you did in Southeast Asia. Never stop exploring! See ya on the flip side ;)

Ahh David, where do I even begin with you?! We literally are like two grapes in a wine bottle. Two brunch bitches at an avocado cafe. Two wanderers in search of an adventure. Let me first start off by saying that you made this trip come alive. You're energy is electric and you always seized every opportunity to explore, eat crazy foods, and take that extra step everyone else was afraid to. I can't imagine this trip without you, and we've shared the best moments of my life together. I honestly never thought that I would meet such an amazing, genuine, and just FUN dude at some hostel in Cambodia. You're such a special person and I know that you'll succeed at anything you do because of our incredible outlook on life and your fun loving personality. You will always have a special place in my heart after the experiences we had these past few months. I just think it's crazy because if I decided to get on my flight to Bangkok instead of Siem Reap we would never have met. Everything happens for a reason and I'm so happy that we connected and shared such a crazy adventure together. We could honestly talk for hours and it never got boring and there was always meaning in our conversations. I swear every time we talked I had some sort of realization about myself or about life in general. We had so many amazing conversations and experiences together, but some of my favorites are...

When we were on the beach in Koh Rong Samloem just hanging and listening to music. Honestly I felt like I was in a movie because I couldn't believe that it was reality. It was one of those moments when I thought "this is way too good to be true" but it was happening right in front of me. The moonlight glimmering off the waves and the plankton glowing in the water. Even today it seems like a dream, but it was real. I remember we were just talking about everything that was on our minds and that was one of the first moments that we opened up to each other. I will always remember when the song "Electric" started playing and we both exclaimed that we loved that song. Now I will forever associate that song with that moment. I just felt so at peace and calm. Everything will be alright, just chill and go with the flow. A significant lesson I learned from this trip is to live my life like water, and just be free. My biggest downfall is that I'm impatient and I hate the unknown, however, after my experience in Southeast Asia my method to deal with my impatience is to live like water. Maybe live like the waves crashing on the beach in Koh Rong Samloem? Yeah why not?!

Another moment that I always will remember is when we were in Chiang Mai together at the night market. We just got some wine (naturally) and we talking about what's next in our lives. You're going to Hawaii and then Colorado (yay!), but what happens when you start traveling is that you start getting all these amazing ideas of new travel plans like going to Australia. I remember you were asking me about what I thought what is the best idea and my response was actually a lesson for myself as well. One day at a time. You can't do everything at once and even though we may feel this rush to see the world there is still so much time. Everything in moderation and when the time comes, it will come! I vividly remember when I said, "I don't know whats next in my life to be honest. If it's living in California or Colorado, or whatever opportunity arises when I go home. But what I do know, is that trip has prepared me for whatever life throws at me." Being fortunate enough to come to this part of the world and been put in sticky situations has prepared me for literally anything. I feel so much more grounded and ready for adult life and it's also because of you since we shared those experiences together. Getting stuck in the mountains in Dalat when my bike broke down, riding the bamboo train in Battambang, eating so much street food, and jamming out to funky music and drinking wine. There have been some big and crazy moments we've shared but I loved the little ones as well.

I'll highlight one more (of many) great times I had with you. So remember when we were in Hanoi and we were going to get Indian food, but then spontaneously decided to drink snake blood?! That was one hell of an experience watching a live cobra get its heart cut out and then taking a shot of its blood. The vodka helped dilute the blood, but it was still an odd sensation and I'm happy we had that experience together. You and I are the best travel buddies ever and I still cant believe that it all began poolside. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW! Be like water, be like the mad monkey pool, and just go with the flow. I'm so happy that we met and shared these experiences together, but I'm even happier that you're coming to Colorado. I can't wait to show you around and see you again! Thank you so much for an unforgettable experience... until next time, Tarzan!

Wow, that was a lot. As I'm sitting at some cheap little hostel in Bangkok writing about all my memories with the people I've met throughout my journey I've finally had time to sit down, reflect, and realize all the amazing things I've accomplished throughout my time here in Southeast Asia. Although it's sad that my time here is almost over, I'm definitely ready to come home. I'm ready to start my own professional young adult life in Denver. I know that I want to work in international education, but I also know that I want to be in Denver for at least a few years. I wouldn't have been able to achieve what I did throughout this trip without these amazing people by my side. Thank you so much to everyone that I met on this journey because it was YOU that made it an unforgettable experience.

I chose this song because I've created some of the best friendships during my time in Southeast Asia, and I truly believe that these types of relationships are unique and unbreakable. 

Although its time for me to head home in a week I will always cherish the experiences and memories that I've had throughout my time in Southeast Asia. It's all because of the amazing people I met, so I would like to thank everyone again for making my time here so awesome. Where will Conor go next? Australia? South America? I have no idea, but until then its time to start adding places and experiences to that wanderlist! 

My Love-Hate Relationship With Charlene

Oh Charlene, where do I even begin? Maybe when immediately after we met it decided to torrential downpour in Ho Chi Minh City and the streets became rivers? Or how about when we took a wrong turn in Mui Ne and crashed straight into the pavement leaving me with some pretty gnarly battle wounds? Even though we had a pretty rough start, you made it up to me when you led me to some tiny village in the mountains on the way to Dalat where I was fortunate enough to experience a moment of pure happiness with some Vietnamese children. It has been quite a journey with you, Charlene, but today I had to let you go and hope that you will give many other backpackers the whirlwind experience that you gave me. As you can imagine Charlene was one hell of a gal, however, she was also my beautiful Yamaha Nuovo motorcycle that took me on the adventure of a lifetime from Ho Chi Minh City all the way to Hanoi. There were times when I wanted to throw you off a cliff, and there were times when I felt like such a badass cruising with you along the coast and going wherever the wind takes me. After a bittersweet goodbye I think its necessary to reminisce on the crazy times that Charlene and I had.

I remember when I first saw your golden star sticker at the top of your front fender and I knew it was the beginning of an intense love affair. The short time we spent in Ho Chi Minh City will definitely not be forgotten. Especially after we experienced our first monsoon together and drove through the streets *coughs* rivers of the city. It was an unforgettable first bonding experience, and our relationship began to blossom after that crazy night. The next day when Rachel, David, and myself were all speeding down the highway out of Ho Chi Minh City to start our Vietnam adventure and Charlene made me feel some type of way. As we watched our first sunset together over the Saigon skyline we raced off into another rain storm while we were on our way to Mui Ne. Everything was all fun and games up until Mui Ne when Charlene decided to teach me a lesson and throw me on the ground leaving me with some deep scrapes and bruises. To be fair, it was a mutual mistake. I wasn't paying enough attention to her, and then BOOM Charlene and I go into the pavement.

Our relationship began to hit some major speed bumps (literally) in Mui Ne and I started having doubts about what I had gotten myself into, however, the trip must go on! The next leg of our trip was to head to Dalat and take in some beautiful and romantic scenery. Our little mishap in Mui Ne had me a little nervous the entire drive up and everything was going just fine until Charlene decided that she just didn't feel like going any further. I just couldn't get her turned on (hehe) and our only option was to coast down the mountain and find a mechanic that could give her some tender loving care since apparently I wasn't cutting it. Eventually we found a mechanic and I was a little apprehensive that he was getting so handsy with my girl, but I had no other option. While Charlene was getting all fixed up, in the meantime I made some friends with the local children and had the purest experience I've had to date while I was teaching them to grass whistle. Although the struggle to find Charlene some help was stressful and put a damper on our relationship, she made it up to me by introducing me to these amazing children.

After our ever-so bumpy ride from Mui Ne to Dalat we finally made it to our hostel and it was time to do some chillin. Our time in Dalat together consisted of taking in some beautiful views and cruising down some crazy roads together. The drive to and from Dalat was magical and I have to thank Charlene for that because if we never met and I decided to take a bus, then I wouldn't have discovered some hidden gems in the Vietnamese mountains. Charlene frustrated me so much at times but one of the many things that she taught me is that a huge aspect of traveling is the journey itself. If you're rushed to get from point A to point B then you miss out on all the good stuff in between. It's all about the journey and not always about the destination! And even though we got in an accident, I was determined to finish what we started and that meant sticking together up until Hanoi. And we did.

Charlene and I then made our way to Nha Trang just for a stop over so we could party it up in Ninh Vana. Luckily for me, we had a little break from each other and I left her in a garage in Nha Trang for two days, but when I returned she had some mysterious flat tire revenge. I have no idea how she got a flat tire while being in a garage, but Charlene is capable of some pretty incredible things. What a woman she was. I had to get her all fixed up again before I threw her in the bottom of a bus to go to Hoi An. It was actually very convenient that I could put her in a bus because she requires a lot of attention on those long drives. You can't go on cruise control and you're always focusing so that you don't get hit by a truck and die. Riding a motorbike is exhausting and stressful, but in the end it's completely worth it.

We were now about halfway through our journey together and it was time to drive the Hai Van Pass together. I was praying that we wouldn't get caught in a rainstorm because I've heard some horror stories about getting stuck in the pass and not being able to find a mechanic, but we went for it despite the stories. We were jamming out to some tunes while we were on the pass and we had a special moment together as we were twisting and turning through the tight curves of the mountain. I felt so cool just winding through the hills with my own Charlene and just going with the flow. The best part about it was that we had no issues all the way to Hue!

Our stay in Hue was very short lived because I was itching to get up to Phong Nha and then up to Hanoi in time before my visa ended. We had to part from our group and now it was just Charlene and I speeding up to Phong Nha National Park. This was a time in our relationship that was definitely a "love" moment because of the fact that I could just pick up and go. I didn't have to wait around for a bus or organize a tour through some booking agency. Charlene could just take me wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted. That is the best aspect of buying a motorbike in Vietnam, because you can just pick up and go if you want. The drive up to Phong Nha was smooth and we enjoyed our stay up in the park and our near accidental entrance into Laos, but after one night it was time to bus it up to Hanoi where we would spend our final days together.

My mission in Hanoi was to find another backpacker to take good care of my beloved Charlene, and at first it was a little harder than I thought it would be. I was posting in every Facebook group and messaging all my friends, but I just wasn't having any luck. Desperate times called for desperate measures and I created a sign that said "Motorbike for sale" and I would drive around the backpacker area and hang out in hostels with the hope someone would buy my bike. I eventually came in contact with a fellow backpacker who picked up my Charlene for me and will hopefully give him the same awesome experience she gave me. It was a little sad saying goodbye, but then a part of me was thinking good riddance! Dealing with the repairs and such are such a hassle, but that's also what made for an unforgettable motorbike experience in Vietnam. So thank you, Charlene, for giving me some crazy stories and memories. It really was a once in a lifetime adventure and I'm so fortunate that everything did and did not work out, because that's what traveling is all about.

I chose this song because whenever Charlene and I were together I felt like "the man." Crusin' and explorin' through Vietnam. 

Vietnam-tastic

So far I've been in Vietnam for about two weeks and I'm in love with this country. The people are so friendly and are constantly saying hello, and although I stick out like a sore thumb they still are so interested in learning about foreigners. A lot has happened in these past two weeks but we started our Vietnam journey in Vinh Long where we opted to stay with a home stay family. We took a bus from Kampot to Vinh Long and it was probably the most uncomfortable bus ride of my life. It was technically a sleeper bus, but the seats were molded to your body and you couldn't adjust it at all. I already don't physically fit in this region of the world because I'm so tall, so I'm sure you can imagine the difficulty I had trying to sleep in this seat that was meant for a tiny 5'5" Vietnamese person. We had been on the bus for about 7 hours and we were awoken by the bus driver telling us to get out since it was our stop. It was about 1am in the morning and we were in the middle of nowhere, but we had to trust the bus driver that it was our stop. This guy on a motorbike just pulls up to us and tells us to get on and he will take us to the hotel. First off, three of us and all of our stuff will not fit on one motorbike and second off I was a little sketched out about getting on some guys bike in the middle of the night. After a few minutes of trying to figure out where we needed to go we decided it was probably best to go with this guy who had called some extra bikes so all our stuff could fit. We arrived all safe and sound, and after a while of traveling these types of situations stop stressing you out and it just seems normal. I've been traveling for about a month and a half now and there comes a point where things just start feeling normal. It's like a new reality. Living in hostels, eating street food, and constantly meeting and saying goodbye to friends is just a new norm. When I started traveling I had quite a bit of anxiety, because I was worried about meeting people and what not, but now that I've adjusted to my new reality everything just seems to flow.

Vietnam has been quite crazy and it has been quite a whirlwind. The best way to travel Vietnam is by motorbike, and it's quite a common thing for travelers to buy a motorbike in the south, see all of Vietnam, and then sell it in the north or vice versa. I decided to take a risk and buy a motorbike because I really wanted to see Vietnam and have the freedom to go where I wanted. I'm happy that David and Rachel got bikes too because I probably wouldn't have done it alone due to safety reasons. After purchasing our bikes in Ho Chi Minh City we were off to Mui Ne to check out some sand dunes, but the bike issues had already begun in the city. The night we bought of bikes David and I got caught in a rainstorm and too much water got into David's bike was broke so the mechanic that we bought the bikes from gave David another bike for a very cheap price. The fact that we had already had bike issues made me a little nervous, but that's part of the adventure.

On the drive to Mui Ne we had to stop at a hotel overnight because the rain was coming down way too hard and it really wasn't safe to drive. The next day we finally made it to Mui Ne after a few mechanic stops and we were ready to chill after a long day. We stayed at the Backpackers Village and it was a pretty nice hostel with a good pool and right next to the beach. Overall Mui Ne was great, besides the fact that I got in a pretty gnarly motorbike accident. Here's how it went down...

I was GPS'ing since I had data and we were on our way back to the hostel from doing some shopping when this lady decided to pull out right in front of me and then just stop. I had nowhere else to go because there was a divider in the road, so I try to avoid hitting them and I fall off my bike and slid out of the way. The lady was with her husband and child on the motorbike too, and they were literally untouched. I'm happy that they were ok, but pissed at the fact that it was not my fault at all. I had nowhere to go besides crashing into them or to crash myself. Luckily I was with friends to help me because I was pretty freaked out at what had just happened. I got myself up and I couldn't even really speak I was just so confused and in shock, and that's when I realized I had some pretty gnarly wounds on my elbow, knee, and foot. None of us had brought a first aid kit, because it was just a quick 20 minute drive to the market and nobody thought that something like this would happen. So I had to hop back on my bike and drive the rest of the way to the hostel. I made it back ok and my friends helped me get all patched up, but a huge lesson I learned was to always be prepared for the worst. You hear about motorbike crashes and injuries all the time, but you never think it happens to you until it does. My situation could have been a lot worse, but it's still pretty bad. I've been taking good care of my wounds, but what I hate the most is that now I have to opt out of doing things that would make my injuries worse. It is what it is.

Our next stop was Dalat and Rachel had worked out a deal with our friend Parker so that he would drive her motorbike and she would take the bus and meet us in Dalat. The drive up to Dalat was absolutely stunning, but each of our bikes had issues. When my bike decided to break down we were in the middle of the mountains with no mechanic in sight, so my only option was to coast down and hope to god that there was a mechanic nearby. Coasting down wasn't too bad but I came to a stretch where I had to push my bike for about a mile, and finally we found a mechanic! While the guy was fixing my bike a big group of kids came up to us and were so curious about us. They definitely don't see many foreigners in this village. We were in the middle of nowhere, and I mean it. They kept on looking over at us and we tried to communicate with them through google translate, but that wasn't really working so I decided to communicate through other means. I decided to show them how to grass whistle, which is when you put a thin blade of grass in between your thumbs and blow to make a whistle sound. I used to do this all the time when I was little and I thought it would be a fun way to show them something from my childhood. This interaction was probably my favorite experience of the trip so far, because it was so pure and natural. They just wanted to learn. I left my mark on some children in a tiny village in Vietnam, and I felt so great afterwards because now they will be able to remember me too and teach other kids the same thing I taught them. 

Once we finally arrived in Dalat we were so exhausted from the long and adventurous drive that we just had a chill evening. The next day we decided to drive our motorbikes around and check out some of the sights. We made our way to this beautiful waterfall, but since I'm a cripple I couldn't go all the way down but I admired it from afar. Although it was a pretty cool waterfall I saw some pretty ominous clouds approaching, which meant rain was on its way so we got the heck out of there and made our way back to the hostel. We got caught in the rain of course and all our stuff got soaked, but we changed at the hostel and got ready for a night out in Dalat. Dalat is known for this cool bar called the maze bar, which is like a labyrinth inside and I kept thinking in my head that this isn't safe at all. I was sober and I was getting lost and tripping on things, so I couldn't imagine what it was like if you were drunk. It was an interesting experience though and I'm happy we made it. What I liked most about Dalat was that it was kind of chilly and cozy. It was a great change from being sticky and sweaty all the time. It's also just plain gorgeous with the fog rolling through the mountains and all the nature surrounding us.

After Dalat it was time to move on to Nha Trang for a night and then we would head to this place called Ninh Vana which is an all inclusive backpacker resort. And when I say all inclusive I mean it. Drinks, food, laundry, massages, excursions, and pretty much everything else. Treat yo self.

It's only been two weeks, but it feels so much longer than that. I've finally had some time to sit and think about my trip so far and here are some things that are going on in my crazy mind:

1. Life can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be, and if you're able to take a moment to realize the little simple things in life it's almost a guarantee that you will feel naturally happier. For me, when I'm traveling I absolutely love seeing the locals living about their daily life. I love observing other peoples routines, and comparing the similarities and differences between cultures. It's simple, everyone does their own routine, and it makes me happy because it's a natural thing that we do.
2. Sometimes you need to remove yourself from everything and everyone to just breath. Even as a solo traveler I'm constantly with people, which is great but it's also important to take time for yourself to decompress and think about how awesome you are and to take in all your surroundings.
3. When things don't go according to plan use that opportunity to make it something positive and memorable.
4. Last but definitely not least... just freakin live it. Opportunities in life don't wait for you, so If you want something don't hesitate and miss it.

I decided to choose this song because first off it's just such a feel good tune and second off I think the lyrics really relate to how I feel at times riding this darn motorbike and when I get into sticky situations. Sometimes I really do feel like throwing my hands up in the air an life is too much, but then I realize its all a part of the adventure.

As for this song I just love it because of a few lines but one of them in particular is "regarde ou nous sommes" which in French translates to "look at where we are." I think its important to take a look at our surroundings and enjoy the beauty that surrounds us everyday. This music video is also just great and puts me in a great mood. Enjoy! 

Koh Rong Samloem

Off the southern coast of Cambodia lives a tiny island without any wifi, electricity, or hot water and that island is called Koh Rong Samloem. We were all stoked to get to the beach, but also to be disconnected for a little bit and to really soak in the island vibes. This island is quite a haul to get to. We had to take a bus from Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville, then a ferry to the island, and then another small boat to our hostel. We arrived and it truly is a hidden gem. We had our own beach, hammocks in the water, swings, snorkeling, kayaking, etc, but what made this island so special was the vibe. Nobody was on their phones, because there's no wifi and people actually talked to each other. We had no itinerary and no rush to go somewhere. This was our chance to just relax and take it all in. Not being able to check in on Facebook or post an Instagram really forces you to think in the moment and not worry about anything else. It was a beach resort for people who don't like beach resorts. All you needed was a bathing suit, good company, and a beer.

At this point of the trip it was now Rachel, David, Stephanie, and Annika and we our own bungalow with mosquito nets and all! We had such a good squad and everyone just really meshed well together, which was perfect for the island vibes. The first night on the island, however, will be something that I never ever forget. We were hanging out on the beach listening to the tiny waves lightly crash on the beach and talking about our trip and each other. I felt untouchable in my happiness and the only thing that I cared about was that moment and that's the only thing that matters. Later that night we all went swimming in the ocean while there was a thunderstorm going on. Thinking about this now, it was probably not the best idea but while you were swimming in the ocean the plankton would glow and I literally felt like a fairy. It was the most interesting phenomenon, and matched with the lightning over the mountains it was a beautiful combination. I just remember thinking that nothing else mattered in the world except right now, and right now was pretty darn amazing.

The next day we decided to go on a snorkeling and fishing trip and it turned out to be the worst possible day to do this. It was pouring down rain, and not just any rain but side rain and the rain would splash back into our faces when we were in the water. We couldn't see anything when we were snorkeling but we all tried to make the best. of what we had. After the snorkeling we went fishing and of course I wasn't able to catch any fish but some other people did and then we set up our grill on the boat and fried up some freshly caught fish. It was really fun, but I was freezing and I felt a cold coming on because being cold, wet, and in a bathing suit in the rain is not a great combination. The trip, however, was fun and I definitely will not forget it!

Koh Rong Samloeum was one of the best places I've visited and even despite the fact that I got sick at the end of my trip it was fantastic. Being able to disconnect and not worry about my phone or anything going on in social media was so refreshing and I think it is so important for everyone to disconnect for a while because then it allows for you to appreciate the moment and the reality that you're in.

I'm just trying to get it all out of my system... 

The Killing Fields

Cambodia is country that has been set back by the destruction of the Khmer Rouge, but it has come such a long way and the only direction is up. The genocide is something that you hear about in history books and documentaries, but when you're actually there you can truly feel the pain and suffering that had been inflicted on so many innocent people. It's a very difficult topic to write about and discuss because everything just comes back to "it was so awful," "I can't believe something like this could've happened," or "I'm at a loss of words." It's something that everyone can agree on that can never happen again and needs to be a lesson for future generations to highlight the evil that can exist in the world.

In this recount of my experience at the killing fields I will be writing about some pretty graphic material so be warned that what you will read will be distributing. We first started at the prison in Phnom Penh where upwards of 22,000 people were brought and only 12 survived. This prison used to be a primary school but when the Khmer Rouge took over, it became a place of torture and evil. In the courtyard of the prison there were a few white graves where lay the bodies of unknown prisoners that were left once the Khmer Rouge lost control. Their bodies were so destroyed that they could not be identified. In the prison compound there were different buildings where they conducted different aspects of the torture process.

The whole reason why the Khmer Rouge began taking people and imprisoning them is because it was thought that they were conspiring against the government, so each prisoner would be forced to sign a confession that they had been working with the American CIA or other intelligence agencies. These confessions of course would be fake, but if they didn't comply they would be tortured to extreme measures. Walking into one of the confession rooms I could feel the pain and could literally see blood stains on the walls. The thought that I was walking around in rooms where thousands of people have suffered and died made my heart heavy and it was like there was something constantly pushing down on me. It was like the spirits of the people who were all crammed in these rooms were all weighing in on me and made the room feel smaller than it was.

In the audio tour there was one confession story that stood out to me. Kerry Hamill was a New Zealander who was sailing across the world when the Khmer Rouge arrested him and took him to the s-21 prison in Phnom Penh. When the Khmer Rouge had asked him to write his confession he would write about things in pop culture and about his family that the Cambodians wouldn't be able to understand. His brother gave a speech about his confessions which said that:

"In his confession, Kerry stated that Colonel Sanders, of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, a popular chain of fast-food restaurants, was one of his superiors,"

"He used our home telephone number as his CIA operative number and mentioned several family friends as supposed members of the CIA."

Hamill also highlighted the reference to a public speaking instructor named "S Tarr", saying it was evidence that Kerry was trying to send a message to their mother, Esther.

"He was sending a message to our mother, a message of love and hope," said Hamill, overcome with emotion. "And it was as if, whatever the final outcome, he would have the last say."

You can check out the article here: http://m.phnompenhpost.com/national/nz-man-confronts-s-21-chief

Kerry Hamill's story is but one of millions in the genocide committed by the Khmer Rouge. Being able to visit the prison was a great way to start off the killing fields tour because we could see where it all really began. Another thing that I thought was interesting is that they would target intellectuals, doctors, people who had skills because they were thought to have been a threat to the regime. The Khmer Rouge wanted to return society back in time to an agrarian based system, so anyone who was educated and had a skill was a huge target. By the end though the Khmer Rouge was imprisoning and murdering just about anyone that had been thought to be a threat, and with the confession system that was going on it was extremely difficult to fall through the cracks.

Once we made it to the actual killing fields we were all very somber and didn't even talk because we all knew that talking about it wont change anything and won't make us feel better. The actual killing fields is where the Khmer Rouge would bring people who had signed a confession and were no longer useful in their plot for power. They would be transported by bus in the night time and were blindfolded so they couldn't see at all where they were going. Some people were killed almost immediately while others were tucked away as they waited for their death. As we walked around the killing fields there were different sites at which the Khmer Rouge would conduct its killings.

This tree here has had parts of it trunk sharpened so that the Khmer Rouge would slit people throats in order to silence their screams before throwing them in their graves. They would shoot them, but it was more common to use machetes or other tools that didn't require ammunition.

There was another tree that is pictured here, which is where the Khmer Rouge would hang speakers and play propaganda music so load that it would cover up the screams of the people they were about to murder. From the outside of the compound it would seem that it was just some military bunker that was doing "military things," but on the inside it was pure evil.

Probably the most cruel and disturbing location is this tree where the Khmer Rouge would swing children and bash their heads on this tree and then toss them into the grave next to it. The tree has been adorned with bracelets to commemorate the loss of young life. I just had the look of disgust on my face as I listened to the audio guide and I really couldn't believe the horror that one human could inflict to another and especially to a child.

I feel so fortunate to have been able to go to the killing fields so that I can have a better understanding to the genocide and Cambodia as a whole. If you see any Cambodian person over the age of 35 then they will have some story of the Khmer Rouge. It's a recent wound and the country is still recovering from it. It's doing the best it can, and I think we are too by spreading news about what had happened. The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes, love each other, and to not let anything like this happen again.

Battambang

We were all heading to Battambang to get a different taste of Cambodia. Siem Reap was a lot of fun, but it was just like any other big city. Touristic. You can't really avoid these types of cities and I don't think you necessarily should because they're touristic for a reason. On the other hand however it's also important to check out the not-so well known cities. I heard that Battambang was supposed to be more "real" Cambodia even though it's one of the largest cities. Once we arrived I realized that we were probably some of the only tourists in the town and it was so strange because it is such a large city, but it doesn't cater to tourists at all. Every other large city that I've been to has had a big focus on supporting tourism, but not Battambang.

Our hotel stuck out like a sore thumb and so did we. It was situated next to these abandoned railways where people were showering in the streets and stray dogs lingered about. The contrast was crazy, but it was nice to have a good hotel and to have a break from the party scene of Siem Reap. We got into the city late in the afternoon so we didn't really explore too much of the city and rather we just decided to grab some wine and have a chill night. This was also a fun way to get to know each other a little more and to enjoy one of my favorite hobbies, that is drinking fermented grape juice! It was so nice to just relax, have a good shower, and to sleep in a comfy bed. When you're traveling its hard to remember to take care of yourself sometimes and its ok to treat yourself to a nice hotel room every once in a while. Especially if you can split it with friends and make the price go down.

The next morning we got all of our belongings situated and got ready to check out and then head over to the bamboo train. As we were checking out the receptionist was telling us that the bamboo train no longer existed and I was shocked. The bamboo train was really the only reason why I wanted to go to Battambang in the first place. Despite her assertions, however, we decided to hire a tuk tuk driver to take us there and he also suggested for us to go to the bat caves as well. That morning we also met up with some more people from Siem Reap and we got our squad ready for the bamboo train. At first 5 of us were crammed into this tiny tuk tuk, but our driver told us that he wold get us a bigger car and oh did he. He rolled up with this bass blasting tuk tuk that would be our ride for the day at a small fare of $4 each. A few other of our friends were following us on motorbikes and after a fun little drive we finally got to the bamboo train.

The bamboo train was the locals way of using abandoned rail road tracks as a form of transport by using these makeshift flatbed trains from bamboo, but nowadays it is pretty much just a tourist attraction. Unfortunately the bamboo train is going to be ripped apart soon in order for a proper road to be constructed, and this will leave all the men who have learned to operate the train without a job. Despite the fact that the bamboo train is one of the very few tourist attractions in Battambang it will probably be replaced within the next few years, so I made it a priority to do it.

We had such a large squad that we had to get two bamboo trains, and as soon as we sat down on our pillows we were off! It was actually a lot faster than I thought it would be and it was a great way to see some of the Cambodian countryside. We made a few stops at some shops alongside the tracks and there was one little girl selling bracelets that stopped us right as we got off the train and told us to only buy from her and made us do a pinky promise. She was about ten years old and had some pretty great sales skills, because if any other kid came up to me trying to sell bracelets she would look at me directly in the eye and I just couldn't break her ever-so binding pinky promise right in front of her. She was a genius. Of course I had to buy a few bracelets that I will give to my sisters when I go back home. She also had impeccable English and when I asked her how she learned she just said from the tourists that come by. She also knew some French and Spanish and I thought it was crazy that she could learn so much just through tourists passing by.

It was such a fun and different experience riding the bamboo train, but when I thought about the situation a little more I got a little depressed because these people live off the tourists that come for the bamboo train and once it is gone what will these people do? It's a vicious cycle of industrialization that will have both positive and negative effects. The new roads that will replace the train will produce more jobs, but higher skilled jobs that the locals don't have, nor the money to learn. So what happens next? Are they just left in the dust? It's not the most pleasant thing to think about but its a reality that is very apparent. I'm not sure what will happen and I think the saddest thing is that when its all said and done I'll be back home in California in a few months and the little girl selling bracelets will have less and less tourists to sell to and even though she has so much potential it will be so much more difficult for her to succeed. It's not impossible. I think the biggest take away is that we can never ever take for granted the privileges and opportunities we have and to be aware and vigilant to the obstacles that others have to face just to survive in their daily life.

Next stop: Phnom Penh!

Siem Reap

Southern Thailand treated me well, but now it's time for a change and to hit the road again, or should I say the sky's?! After Phi Phi we had our ferry to Phuket and then a flight the next morning to Siem Reap and since we are poor travelers we decided to just sleep at the airport. It actually wasn't too bad, because it gave me some time to talk with some friends and family and to just chillaxxxxx, however, the Burger King booths are not the best beds to sleep in. I think we were all just ready to move away from the party scene of Southern Thailand and check out a new and unknown place in the world. I had heard so much about Cambodia and was just itching to explore it. Although we were stoked to go to Cambodia it was time to say good-bye to our lovely Dan since we was going back to school. It was actually pretty sad since I only know this trip with Dan being a part of it, but then I remembered that we live in an age where it really is possible to connect with friends that you meet traveling. All of the social media platforms that we are spoiled with allow us to stay connected with each other, and I know that if I'm ever in Switzerland I can message Dan and the same goes for him if he is ever in California. I'm so happy that we have these types of technologies to stay connected otherwise I would've been balling my eyes out at the ferry building when we wer saying our good-byes. It's also important to remember that when you're traveling, especially when you're traveling alone, that you're constantly making new friends and that also means that you're constantly having to say good-bye as well. It can be hard because you develop such a connection with people that you're traveling with and then "poof" they're gone! It's the nature of the beast. 

After a quick and easy 2 hour flight to Siem Reap we touched down and I was so excited to see what Cambodia had in store for me. To be honest I was super excited to get another stamp and sticker in my passport and that's the explicit sign that you're in a new place. We hopped on a Tuk-tuk and made our way to the Mad Monkey hostel where we would be staying for the next couple of days. Steph, Tharmitha, and I all kind of had different plans on what we wanted to do so I thought that Siem Reap would be the place where we would have to all split up. I tried not to think about it too much otherwise I would stress myself out for no reason. An important lesson that this trip has taught me is to think in the present and to not worry about the future. I'm literally living my life day-by-day and it's been very difficult for me since I'm such a planner, however, it's also very liberating since I can change my route at any time. If I meet some people who have a good trip planned out I can always tag along with them, or if I wanted to go somewhere I can see if other people want to come with me. There's no point in stressing yourself out about what's happening next, and rather remain in the present because I'm 99.9% sure that you'll actually appreciate and enjoy the moment you're in so much more. You can't be enjoying the sunset over Cambodian rice fields if you're worried about booking a bus ticket to go somewhere else. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the moment. Everything will fall into place, and you can never truly figure out what's going to happen in the future so don't let that take away from you're specatlur sunset! 

Once we got all situated we naturally proceeded to the bar to grab a beer and then put on our bathing suits since the hostel had a pool. I was loving the new hostel environment and when we were in the pool I started talking with Rachel and David from New Jersey who were also backpacking around Southeast Asia. We ended up talking and hanging out the entire day, time in Siem Reap, and even to this day in Phnom Penh! It's funny how fast you can make friends when traveling. Yay new travel buddies! I was so happy to meet some new friends and we are actually going to Southern Cambodia and Vietnam together. Thanks to the Mad Monkey pool for bringing us together, but now it was time to explore Siem Reap and it's surroundings.  

Our hostel offered a "booze cruise" to the floating villages and I thought this was extremely offensive and I don't understand how you could be getting drunk when there are people living in such poverty around you. We decided to go on our own tour of the floating villages and it turned out to be so incredible. It was about a 30 minute drive outside of Siem Reap and these villages get flooded during the rainy season and then dry up in the dry season, so all of these villages are literally on stilts. Venice of Cambodia? The floating villages of Tonle Sap, however, didn't have expensive wine shops or an extravagant glass factory like Venice. Instead I was able to see how a completely different society lives. This is what I was looking for in my trip, and although it did make me a little sad to see such poverty the people that lived there were so friendly and welcoming. Even though it made me a little sad to think that people live like this it got me thinking that this is their reality and it's probably all the know and I think this related back to thinking in the present. If you're constantly comparing your life to others and the things you don't have you can't appreciate the things you have right in front of you. People that love you, some delicious chicken noodles, or watching the waves on the beach. The most beautiful things are right in front of your face and you probably don't even realize it. 

The floating villages really taught me to really appreciate the things I do have and not to worry about I don't have. I feel so fortunate to be where I am today. I'm a healthy college graduate backpacking Southeast Asia and life is going pretty swell. The floating villages also taught me that since I am so fortunate it is my duty to give back to those who are less fortunate, so when I'm in Vietnam or Laos I'm planning to do some type of volunteering. I bought some books for these children in Tonle Sap and when I saw the smiles on their faces it just made me so happy. Seeing the floating villages mixed with all of these crazy thoughts going through my head made for an exhausting day, so we all crashed when we got back to the hostel and went to bed early because the next day we were going to Angkor Wat. 

We had an early morning wake up call at 4am and got a tuk-tuk to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. I like to think of myself as a morning person, but not at 4am and especially without any coffee so it took me a little while to wake up. When I saw the silhouette of Angkor Wat in the distance, however, my eyes gleamed with excitement. We situated ourselves perfectly so that we could see the five spires of the temple and watched as the sun rose over the eight wonder of the world. Even though there were a bunch of tourists I still loved it and tried to savor it because I knew it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wasn't going to let the annoying tourists take away from my experience. You're always going to have to deal with people who are complaining or annoying, but I try hard to not give in and complain as well because I'm not on this trip to complain. I'm on this trip to experience Southeast Asia and do things that make me happy. Complaining doesn't make me happy, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't make you happy. Just enjoy!

We wandered around some other surrounding temples and eventually made our way to Ta Prohm which is where the tomb raider was filmed. This was probably my favorite surrounding temple because the jungle was taking over the temple and it was so calming walking around and just go at my own pace. Our Tuk-tuk driver was awesome and took us around to a bunch of temples and back to our hostel for only $4 a piece. What a deal! Once we satisfied our temple itch we made our way back to the hostel and packed our bags to head to Battambang. The travel group has now expanded to Steph, Tharmitha, David, Rachel, and myself. We were also meeting other friends in Battambang the next day. So many friends!  

On a final note I've realized that throughout my entire trip so far I've been saying "we" and I've never really been alone. Even thought I had a round trip flight booked from San Francisco to Bangkok, nothing booked, and no friends I have already created some amazing friendships and I can't wait to meet with other people throughout my journey.  I've been traveling for about three weeks now and it's crazy to think what I've already accomplished. Let's see what happens next...

I really do think this trip has been sort of a bittersweet symphony so far in regards to meeting and saying good bye to the incredible people you meet when traveling. I also just love this song, because it gives me a feeling of "don't worry, everything will work out." ​

Koh Phi Phi

After a quick stop off in Krabi it was time to soak up some rays on our last Thai island, Koh Phi Phi. It didn't really hit me until right as we were leaving that the Southern Thailand portion of my trip had come nearly to a close. Although it was a bit bittersweet by the end our our stay I think we were all ready for a change. In Koh Phi we were staying at a hostel called Ibiza House and at first we thought it would be the right move since we really wanted to go out with a bang and have a good time. This hostel was supposedly one of the best party hostels on the island so naturally we had to stay there. We had two nights on the island so we really wanted to make the best of it.

The only downer about partying on the islands is that everything is so darn expensive, however, we did find a super market that sold beer for actually cheaper than the mainland. We of course went to that store all the time so we could save money since everything else was so expensive. Another thing about Koh Phi Phi is that there is pizza literally everywhere and since we were getting a little sick of noodles we had to satisfy our cravings and get a few slices. Our first night out was actually such a blast and Esben had decided to come and meet us on the islands so we had some more time to all hangout together.

I really couldn't believe how crazy this tiny little island was, and to be honest I liked it more than the full moon party. It's literally just one strip and you can just walk back and forth down the "yellow brick road" and take your pick of a bar or food. There is also a ridiculous amount of tattoo shops, which of course are good to avoid when your judgement is impaired from drinking. They really do know product placement, because the only things to do on this island is drink and eat. There is one bar that we really wanted to go to called the Reggae Bar since they had muy Thai fighting and Esben was going to fight that night. We had to support a fellow travel buddy! We all somehow managed to get home safely without any tattoos or piercings. Success!

The next day was definitely a day of rest, which was completely fine for us since it rained all day long. We all decided that it was time to get one of those famous Thai massages and to just chill. This was the best decision ever and I had the most amazing massage in my life. They really do massage your entire body and stand on your back for only 3 dollars! We felt like noodles after and grabbed some food before heading back to the hostel.

That night we all agreed that it was good to just chill and we grabbed some beers and hung out on the beach, walked around, and just talked about life. It was the best way to end our stay in Koh Phi Phi because it gave us a chance to actually talk and retain everything that was being discussed. The conversations had a huge range, but when we were sitting on the pier it really hit me. Each and every one of us was a solo backpacker from a different country and we were sipping on beers like we've been best friends for our entire lives. We all got along so well and understood that sometimes you just need to sit down and take it all in. You can go anywhere and take a picture just to say you've done it, but what I thought was interesting is that someone can have such a different experience as someone who has visited the same place and done the same thing. I'm definitely a strong believer in life's what you make it, so even if something bad comes your way or doesn't go according to plan there's not point in having a negative response. If things always went according to plan we would never learn.

So as I was sitting there it was a perfect chance for me and everyone else to take a deep breath and realize where we are and what we've done. We were in one of the most beautiful places on Earth, where people dream of visiting and it almost didn't feel real. But it is real, and I think that its so important to stop for a minute and just take it all in. As Ferris Bueller more or less once said, "Life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and wait for a minute, you just might miss it." And of course I have to make a reference to the movie "The Beach" since it was filmed on the Phi Phi islands and perfectly describes how I felt on my last night on the island. "And me? I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for. Because it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something. And if you find that moment... It lasts forever."

Khao Sok National Park

​The full moon party really took it out of me and I desperately needed a night to recuperate, so that's why Tharmitha and I decided to book a nice hotel in Surat Thani so we could re-organize and get some rest. Dan and Steph were going to meet us in Khao Sok the day after so it was a perfect time for some rest and relaxation. The next morning we got on this public bus to Khao Sok and at first I thought there would be no air conditioning and about to freak out, but thank god once the bus was turned on the air started flowing. When traveling in Thailand, or anywhere in Southeast Asia its worth it to spend the extra bucks for air conditioning because it is seriously hot here and being stuck on a crammed bus for 4 hours with no A/C is awful.

​

​

​Two hours later we arrived in Khao Sok National Forest and checked into our bungalow, which was so cool and cheap. The four of us had two beds to share, our own bathroom, and the bungalow was situate right on the riverfront. This was the perfect place for some detox after Koh Phagnan. We took it easy the first night and took in the jungle vibes, because the next day we were doing a tour of the lake and some jungle trekking.

An early morning wake up call from our tour guide and before we knew it we were on our way to the Ratchaprapha lake. It was about an hour drive, but it was one of the most scenic drives I've ever been on with mountains and limestone cliffs. Once we got to the lake we cruised on our little boat until we reached the other side where we would do our jungle trek. We had the option to rent some rubber shoes and despite by stubbornness to spend an extra dollar (which is a lot in Thailand) I decided that I probably should just be safe and rent some cheap shoes. I'm so beyond happy that I decided to rent shoes because there was mud everywhere and we had to cross a bunch of rivers until we finally got to the cave. Going in the cave was probably my favorite part, but also such a weird sensation since it was pitch black dark and all we had were our head lamps to light our way. We went about chest deep in the water and climbed up a waterfall and despite the fact that I hit my head and tripped a few times, there were absolutely no injuries. Mission accomplished! Once we finished exploring the cave we made our way back and by that time the day was nearly over, and we were exhausted.

When we got back to our bungalow we were desperately in need of some food so we went to grab some "quick" pizza. Note to self: nothing is quick in Thailand and food preparation takes a long time. We were literally watching her make the pizzas and counted the minutes it was in the oven and I kid you not, inhaled our pizzas! The lake tour really took it out of us and that pizza was just what we needed after a long day.

Our last night in Khao Sok consisted of deep talks and a few beers of course. We covered so many different topics but one that really resonated with me was even though we have completely different lives outside of this trip, we have developed something so genuine from traveling together. A relationship that can really only be created through suffering on long bus rides together or laughing at something that doesn't go according to plan. We are so different but this trip is unique for our individual experience together, and I think that it's so amazing how you can instantly become friends with random people when traveling. We put our trust in people so fast, and that in itself is taking a risk, but what is traveling without taking any risks? Through the relationship building that comes with traveling comes a timeless story that is unique to yourself, and it's something that money can never buy. So on that sappy note I think it's important to remember that it's the people you meet in life that make whatever experience you have, and everyone's a stranger until you say hello! Khao Sok was really what I needed and wanted, but our time had come to an end and we were off to Koh Phi Phi.